How To Be Confident When You Don’t Feel It

Dark haired woman about to touch her head of hair

I want to talk about hair, specifically women’s hair, and how important it is to be aware of how it makes us feel when we haven’t prepared or fixed it up for the day.  I’m not saying spend half an hour a day on your hair, I’m asking you to check in the mirror and think about how your hair is looking before you walk out the door.

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If you want to have a messy bun and you feel super comfortable in that, it’s what suits you and looks great, all good.  You paid attention.  For others, you might prefer to spend 5 minutes styling your hair in a way that you like.  Maybe you have ‘unruly’ hair that needs to be brought under control or you like it curly rather than straight or vice versa.

I’ve been thinking about how in doing this we can set ourselves up to feeling a lot better on the inside too.

It can seem like it’s external and often feels like a shallow or cosmetic topic, we think it’s not important and make comments ‘urgh’, just my hair. For sure, it’s just hair, some days how it comes is totally fine.  But other days it can contribute to us feeling worse.  Yes, we might be feeling a little lousy, but on top of that, we have also not done our hair.  We not only look uncared for, but we also feel like a mess.

It says in the bible to wear your hair like a crown (it’s actually referring to older people to wear the white hair like a crown of honour), but I often think of it in regard to my own hair. 

One summer, years ago when I was newly married, I cut my hair really short.  My hair has been long forever and over the years it got shorter and shorter, it was about shoulder length when I decided to cut it off into a pixie cut.

The result was that, although it didn’t look terrible, I was uncomfortable…and there was nothing I could do about it!  And it was just my hair.

I always think back and remember how my hair was cut had changed how I held and carried myself.  I don’t want to give you the impression you need to be overly sensitive about how your hair looks, but to be aware of how it makes you feel when your hair isn’t done at all.

A woman once said to me, when I was feeling a little blah one day, “Do you need to see a doctor, or do you need to see a hairdresser?”.

It has stuck with me because I realised she was right.  Yes, I felt kind of ‘flat’ and a trip to the hairdresser can boost your mood immensely. 

Whether you get a cut or style or straightened or a colour if you can afford it.  It gives you a little edge to your confidence if you are feeling a little low.  Sometimes it’s as simple as acting ‘as if’, looking more put together can help you feel more confident.

If you think that it’s something that you could put a little extra time and energy into, set the alarm a little earlier, you won’t need long.  It takes me 7-10 mins to blow dry my hair to have it the way I like. Do you need to watch a YouTube video or check out Pinterest for ideas? Maybe the change you want to make is just taking a look in the mirror before you leave to take kids to school and double check your ‘do’ before you go?

It makes me feel like I have taken care of myself, and taking care of yourself is paramount to being able to take care of anybody else.

So I encourage you to take a shower, do your hair, your makeup, whatever it is that you want to do.  Doing my hair had to become part of what I did to get ready in the morning, it was as important as getting dressed and brushing my teeth.

So my encouragement to you is to make time to wear your hair like a crown, for the lady that you are.